


Commuovere

by Ariejul



Series: Alone in the Fallout [10]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Deacon allowing himself to be happy, Everything's Okay, F/M, Fear of Abandonment, Feels, Heart-to-Heart, Heartwarming, Homecoming, Love is a many splendid thing, Romantic Friendship, Spoilers, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, cute kid stuff, for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 22:32:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11300190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariejul/pseuds/Ariejul
Summary: Commuovere: to stir, to touch, to move to tears. Often taken to mean "heartwarming."Julia and company head back to Sanctuary.Post-game.Takes place after Numinous.





	Commuovere

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm back again. 
> 
> I finally figured out how I wanted to proceed, yay. It's a happier tone than most of the stories here, but I think everyone deserves that. 
> 
> I've realized I always seem to be most productive at writing when it's way too late at night. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Please comment/give kudos if you enjoyed it. Also, as usual, no beta.

The trek back to Sanctuary is uneventful. Dogmeat scampers about like a puppy, happy to finally be on the move again. Nick is sauntering along, walking a fair distance ahead of her with the pup, kindly giving her the space she needs. Deacon is by her side, dutifully scanning the terrain as if nothing’s changed. Yet, when he catches her gaze on him, he smiles. It’s a small thing, and quickly dismissed, but it’s still there.

They were only at the homestead a little over a week, but it feels like a lifetime. His injury is all but gone, and Julia is glad infection hadn’t set in. Even with a stim, a nasty infection can kill and who knows how long he was lying out there unconscious. Her heart clenches tight at the thought. She absently reaches toward him and brushes her fingers against his, a reassurance that he is here and real and not dead.

His hand wraps around her own and squeezes before letting go, and she starts at the touch. She hadn’t expected him to do that. “I’m here,” he murmurs low enough that only she hears, quelling her own fear as if she’d voiced it.

Julia nods. She hesitates, but decides to speak. “Deacon, is… is this really okay?”

“Yeah,” he replies, tone thoughtful. “I won’t lie… I’m scared shitless, but it’s damn hard to shake you off. You know that, right?”

Her grip tightens on her rifle, studying the horizon line in front of her. “I’ve lost so much in my life. My family. My world. Everyone I ever knew.” She cuts her eyes toward him. “I’ll be damned if I lose anything else without fighting with everything I am to keep it. I know it’s selfish, and I’m sorry. But if you don’t want this… I’ll back off. I can just be your friend Charmer, and we go back to everything we were. I don’t want to be an obligation to you. I…” She trails off, embarrassment tying her tongue.

“I can’t do that,” he says slowly. “You’re… important. To me. Guess I’m just worried one day you’ll see the light, and bug out like any sane person would.”

Her eyes find his, and she hates those sunglasses covering them. Hates the way they hide him from her. “So, you ditched me before I ditched you, right? Well, hate to break it to you, but I have a pretty big thing for you. That isn’t changing, no matter what you say. I _was_ a lawyer and a pretty good judge of character besides. When I say you’re a good person, I mean it, and nothing you say can dissuade me. Nate used to tell me I was more stubborn than a mule.”

“One of these days, you’re going to tell me exactly what being a lawyer means,” he says, totally ignoring everything else she said.

She laughs, deciding to go along with it. “Means I like to argue, and I’m really good at it.”

He snorts. “Sounds perfect for you, boss.”

“It was something of a calling,” she says, suddenly missing the feel of a courtroom, the rush of adrenaline pleading a case. Closest she comes now is being in the middle of a firefight. It’s… a little more danger than she wants in her life. “I think you’d’ve been good at it, too.”

“Nah. I’m not really the arguing type. You know me. Too straightforward for that.”

It’s her turn to snort. “If you say so.”

“Sure do,” he smiles, though it doesn’t reach his eyes.

 

Shaun is waiting at the gate when they arrive, a broad grin on his face. He races across the Old North Bridge, throwing himself into Julia’s arms. Makes her glad she actually repaired the damned thing. She catches him with a bark of a laugh, twirling him. Dogmeat yips a safe distance away, prancing happily.

“Mom! You came back, and you brought Deacon back, too, just like you said!” He beams when he’s got both feet back on the ground. “And Nick, too! Hi, Nick!” He waves at the old Synth, who happily returns the gesture.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Deacon asks, pouting. It’s a show, but she’s glad he thinks enough of Shaun to do so.

“Of course you aren’t,” Shaun replies, bouncing on the balls of his feet in front of him. He hesitates for a moment, then reaches out and wraps his arms around Deacon’s waist. He doesn’t notice when Deacon stiffens, but he relaxes quickly enough, returning the gesture. “I’m really glad you’re back. I missed you so much, and Mom did, too. She stopped smiling and cried all the time. She tried to hide it from me, but I can always tell.”

Deacon gives her a sharp, inquisitive look that makes Julia blush. "Really?"

Julia cuts Shaun off before he can elaborate. “Shaun, sweetie, you really don’t have to say that.”

His head swivels toward her, frowning. “But it’s the truth, Mom, and Deacon should know, so he can see people are always waiting for him to come back, right?”

Nick laughs gruffly. “Think he’s got you there, Julia.”

She rubs her face, trying to push away her embarrassment. “You’re right, Shaun. I’m sorry. It’s just been a long few weeks. Why don’t we head inside?”

“Okay, Mom,” he says brightly, taking Deacon’s hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world to do. He takes a few steps toward the gate, but seeming to think of something, he turns back to Julia. “Oh, I almost forgot! Preston asked me to tell you that RJ’s back. Did you know he has a son? His name is Duncan. He’s close to my age, too. He said he was really sick, but he doesn’t look it now. Isn’t it great?”

Julia didn’t expect that. Honestly, she wasn’t sure that Bobby would come back at all. After all, the Commonwealth isn’t his home. The Capital is, and she can understand the want for something like that. She’d have missed him, of course, but she wouldn’t blame him. Home can be a hard thing to find in the Wastes. “That’s awesome, hon. Maybe you can introduce us later, after we’ve gotten settled in.”

He beams at her, all smiles, and still holding Deacon’s hand, guides them back into Sanctuary. Back home. She doesn’t miss the small contented grin pulling at the corner of Deacon’s mouth, or the way Deacon holds onto Shaun’s hand tightly, like a precious thing he can’t bear to let go.

Nick falls into step beside her, lighting up a cigarette and breathing in a drag of smoke. “He looks happy,” he says, strolling down the street and eyeing the pair in front of them.

Julia tilts her head a little before nodding. “Yeah, he does.” Dogmeat woofs low at her side, as if agreeing.

“About time, too. He’s been just this side of miserable for as long as I’ve known him, and that’s been quite a while.” He glances over at Julia, blowing small smoke rings. “You look happy, too. Kinda hard to believe the woman who pulled me out of that godforsaken Vault is the same one looking at me now.”

She doesn’t really know what to say to that. Julia knows she’s changed a lot since then. Nick was pretty much the first friend she had in the Commonwealth, the first person who really seemed to genuinely care. She was unbelievably cold, then, angry and upset, without anyone or thing to direct it toward. Nate was gone, Shaun was missing. It was… a bad place for her. A dark time. It hurts to think about it. There are so many times back then that she should have died, if for nothing more than pure recklessness.

She said a lot of hateful things to Nick and didn’t trust him for a long time, but he took it all in stride. He still helped her find Shaun and hung around to make sure she was okay. He gave her a lot of advice, that while unwelcome at the time, really helped her clear her head and pull herself out of that pit. His unending kindness colored her view of Synths, and it was that caring for them that led her to the Railroad. To Deacon.

She watches her son, a Synth copy of the one she birthed, and a man she knows so little about and loves more than anything, holding hands while walking home, and her heart feels full to bursting.

Nick chuckles, dropping his spent cigarette and rubbing it out with the ball of his shoe before picking up the butt and pocketing it. “I’m gonna go track down Sturges, see if he has any new upgrades to talk about. I’ll see you around, okay?”

She nods, watching him walk off with Dogmeat on his heels. It’s then that she realizes she’s standing in front of her door. Shaun and Deacon have already gone inside. She breathes in deep, the rich smell of earth filling her nose. It’s nice to be home, she thinks, before walking inside.

Deacon is standing in the living room, a vacant expression on his face. He almost looks lost. It fades when he notices her, his usual veneer of calm plastered on. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” she murmurs, offloading her pack by the door beside Deacon’s. She drops onto the couch and yanks off her boots with a sigh. Her socks come quickly after, and she’s never been so happy to wiggle her bare toes. He still hasn’t moved when she looks back at him. “Sit. Take a load off. I’m sure you want to get your feet out of those boots, if nothing else.”

Deacon complies, if a bit stiffly, with her request, sitting down at the opposite end of the couch and taking off his shoes and socks. She notices several of the nails on his left foot are black and wonders how that happened. They sit in silence after that, and Julia starts cleaning under her nails for lack of anything better to do. The silence isn’t exactly uncomfortable, but it seems to stretch unnaturally around them.

“Is what he said true?” he asks after a time, breaking the quiet.

Julia tenses. She rubs the bridge of her nose and sighs. “Does it really matter? It’s over and done.”

“Please,” he says hesitantly, staring at his hands, “tell me.”

Cold slides up her spine, and she shivers. “Shaun is a sharp kid. Sharper than I give him credit for, really.” She doesn’t look at Deacon, can’t bring herself to do so. “But yeah. It was a hard few months.”

“I’m sorry, Jules. I didn’t… I never meant to hurt you.”

She scoots closer and takes one of his fidgeting hands. “It’s fine. I didn’t die, and I tracked your ass down and dragged you back like I said I would. Everything’s okay. _I’m_ okay.”

He nods and says nothing more about it, though his posture speaks volumes on the nature of his thoughts. She hopes he won’t worry about it too much.

“Where did Shaun go?”

He glances up from his thoughts before pointing down the hall. “He said he was going to get some towels and clothes ready for us to take showers. Said we’d probably want to.”

Julia nods, faintly surprised that Deacon came to her home instead of his own. She doesn’t question it. It seems like one of those things he’s tactically avoiding, so she’ll do the same for now. Besides, she doesn’t want him to leave just yet. If she had her way, he’d move in here with Shaun and her. The mere thought of that sets her nerves humming like a giddy little schoolgirl with a crush.

It doesn’t take long for her to wash up and change. It’s nice to be rid of nearly a month’s worth of dirt and grim from the road. She’s sitting in the living room with Shaun while Deacon is in the shower. Her son looks over at her, a nervous angle to his mood. “Hey, Mom?”

“Yeah, sweetie?”

Shaun fidgets with his hands, staring down at the floor. “Deacon… he’s going to stay, right? He’s not going to leave again, is he?”

Julia frowns at the sadness in her son’s face when he glances at her. It breaks her heart. She walks over to him and wraps her arms around him. “It’s okay, baby. Deacon didn’t say he was leaving.”

“But,” Shaun protests, even as he’s wrapping his arms around her and trying his best to curl into her, “Deacon doesn’t always tell you everything. What if he isn’t telling you about this? What if he leaves and never comes back? What if he dies? I don’t want to miss him again. I don’t want you to be sad anymore.”

Julia makes a gentle shushing sound, stroking Shaun’s auburn hair. “I don’t think he’s going to go anywhere, sweetie. But, if it’s bothering you that much, we can ask him, okay?”

Shaun nods against her arm, sniffling a little.

When Deacon comes out, Shaun is curled up in Julia’s lap, looking resigned. “Everything okay, Jules?”

She notes the tone of worry lacing the edges and glances up at him as her fingers glide through Shaun’s hair. “Shaun’s worried about you.”

“Me?” Deacon makes a dismissive gesture with his hands, but Julia can see it as the act it is. “I’m good.”

Shaun looks at him, his eyes red-rimmed. “You’re going to stay here with us, right?”

“Planned on it,” he grins at the boy. “You can’t already be sick of me. That’d be like, a new record.”

“No,” Shaun snaps, eyes fierce. “I’ll _never_ get sick of you. You’re awesome, and you tell the best stories. You’re always teaching me things I don’t know, and you give me the greatest books to read. But most important of all, you make Mom happy. Please, don’t leave us. We need you here.”

Deacon looks startled at that, before leaning over to ruffle Shaun’s hair. “I’m not going anywhere, kiddo. Someone’s gotta make sure your mom doesn’t get into too much trouble. You know she’s a magnet for it, right?”

Shaun grins wetly, leaping out of her lap and barreling into Deacon. “I’m so glad you’re staying. I missed you a lot.” She notices Deacon wince when Shaun jostles the still tender injury and reminds Shaun not to be so rough.

“It’s okay.” He smiles down at Shaun, a breathtakingly beautiful one that lights up his whole face. “I missed you, too, kiddo, and your mom. Sorry I worried you.”

Shaun smiles at him, then turns back to Julia and gives her a smile, too. It warms her heart to see this side of Deacon. He’s never flat out ignored Shaun, but he always took a hands off approach. Watching him hug her son, it makes everything feel right in the world for once. It’s like having a family again, whole and unbroken.

It’s moments like these that make her glad she fought as hard as she did, that she didn’t die, that she _lived._

Deacon turns that glowing grin to her, and she forgets momentarily how to breathe.

She’s so, _so_ glad she lived, if for nothing more than to see a smile that marvelous on the face of the man she loves.


End file.
